SONA bashing and bad parties

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edible Shrooms or Poisoned Fungi, bad bashes anyone?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It’s mushroom season!  Yes!!!  My favorite shroom dishes come to mind.  Mushroom inihaw (roast) dipped in toyo (soy sauce, dumb dumb!).  Beef nilaga with mushroom floats uuuuy!!! Saraap!!! (delicious).  Shrooms in chop suey, wooow!!!  shrooms in pancit, too!!! Mushroom adobo, mushroom stew, huuupssss!!!  And so many more delectable recipes!  Hey start apickin, lads and lassies and let’s enjoy the bounty of freshy-freshy shrooms during their season!!!  Happy chomp-chomp-chomping!!!  Ummmmmmhhh!!!

 

Caveat:  I feel it in my guts that a number of our party organizers will try to outdo each other in planning the best bash during the season.  Well, it’s a way of relaxing with all the storms raging outside.  But there are those that want another kind of bash and they are dreaming, scheming of the deadliest bash they can ever conjure in their rotten, devious brains.  OMG!

 

SOAH,  SOAH ….  (as girbaudz’s dear, dear but evil friend jun lozada is always wont to blurt), just stay away from these devils and be fully alert to the fungi species that can harm you!  They go with the territory.  Not all bashes are fine and decent ones;  like, not all shrooms are edible and good for the health.  Some are edible but the party planners have a mind and malevolent intent to kill you by letting you eeeet dem!  Yikes!

 

Now, there are a now also lot of SONA critics as many as poison mushrooms that will sprout during the stormy-lightningy-thundery season.  Their picking and preparation characterized by the systematic, wholly planned or else simply demented schemes of the other bad party planners.  The very worst are the following poison mushroom servings:

 

—calculated coming out of anti Arroyo “survey results” on SONA day by pulse asia

 

—farcicomic Abs-Cbn Probe team kidnapping in supposed Abu Sayyaf area weeks before SONA

 

—killing of the visit to US of Gloria month(s) before SONA

 

—Go clan killing of nearly 800 passengers of Princess of the Stars during the US visit

 

—near death experience (collapsing and tumbling into a muddy canal) of Joe Perez alias Joe de Venecia, Jr in Qatar with Gina at his side at hospital  (i thought i struck this out from my original list, but it seems cute… and quaint and romantic too!)

 

—Robbery hold-up of multi-millions of rice sale proceeds in two National Food Authority warehouses in Valenzuela and Marikina

 

—Murder of journalist Bert Sison in Sariaya, Quezon a few weeks before SONA

 

—Simultaneous rebel attacks vs. government troops at provincial venue of Cabinet meeting about a week before SONA

 

—Robbery hold-up at Pasay City 3 days before SONA

 

—Nene Pimentel pre-SONA boycott announcement

 

—The LOPEZ behemoths’ cry of : Martial Law!!!

 

—Papa Joe Perez alias Joe De Venecia, Jr impending exposé and supposed secret support for . . .

 

—Bubby Dacer girl friday’s exposé – bombshell detonation at Malaya on the day of SONA and the morning after

 

—Jojo Binay’s coordinated bombshell on the second morning after — also in Malaya

 

—Praising of the police special action forces as defenders of peace, order and democracy after making them fools in Mindanao during the all-out war vs. MILF and turning them into berdugos and kidnappers of joe marcelo ejercito alias joseph estrada or erap in the agreed-upon 3 year reign of the king of bigotes

 

—Manny Villar desperately clinging to his seat in senate and causing a terrible, very melodramatic raucus

 

—Jomboy and co. attack on Enrile (where is the AmCham, did it run away?)

 

—Somebody lighting FVR’s cigar

 

—Mindanao small landowners protesting ancestral domain agreement between government and MILF

 

—shipping multi-billions and trillions worth shabu as well as shabu precursors (and getting caught anyway)

 

—other unmentionable bashings – not excluding another vig, vig attack on democracy

 

—SONA bashers plan to hold a black mass (A BLAAACK  MAAAASSS!!!  OMG!!!)  every Friday daw… shit!  the desperate, desperate fucks!!!

 

—recent discovery of the very, very high level of corruption in the court of appeals (ruling that this drug lord is excempt from law and must be Christianly forgiven, ruling that a lower court stop proceedings against some drug lords, OMG!!!  what’s happening with our country when drug lords’ lawyers are justices of court of appeals that are also part of supreme court!!!  OMG AGAIN!!!)

 

Frantically competing with the dastardly, scheming bad party planners are the . . .  

 

—Maleducado, Idiotic Monkey-See, Monkey-Do and Parroting Pretenders clawing on the global crisis, as if they read international news and understand world events as they happen now.  Ergo, if they kill global crisis, Lady Gloria is finally the one at fault and their idols are justified if they should kill Lady Gloria in one big bad bash

 

—recruiting FPJ’s daughter (after Ms. Susan Roces) to become a rabble rouser at SONA

 

—other miscellaneous shits blogging about things they boast of knowing

 

it’s a terrible strain on my daydreaming, notwithstanding what these stupid cretins are doing to my beauty sleep / rest.  i’d really like to enjoy my beauty sleeps but what can i do?  shit!!! i mean, why don’t they leave us all alone and do their thing and just die?  look are we 80+ millions of Filipinos really going to enjoy their party when their bashes are loaded with vile agenda?

 

you’d sincerely wish all these demoñito bastards and idiots just had a bad party for themselves …   in the san diego, california fault and were eaten up by an earthquake!  humph!

 

on second thought, i’ll still go on with my mushroom delights!  i really don’t care about the fucking uproar these shits are building up to, they’ll get killed by their own poison one of these days anyway.  so let’s have a super, super mushroom party!!!  hey!  come everyone!!!  yer all invited!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

tHe bAtTLe oF tHe GiANTs

 

 

Pre-SONA Scenarios

Scenario 1

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Giant Great Flasher (JDV) says:

Hey you nitwit, dumb dumb naked beast!

Look at me!  Look at what I’ve got!

Do you have this?  You shit?

Look!  Are you ashamed?

 

 

The Giant Incredible Bulk (FG) says,

well, don’t make me angry...

you wouldn’t like me

when I’m angry!

(or maybe he’ll file a libel suit...)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A dream of chronicles and indices

 

the things idiots put up with for a stupid list (not Schindler’s)

 

many politicians are stupid.  some of the businessmen who swagger around as altruistic as them, are just as stupid.

 

they keep writing lists.  all their lives, they are obsessed with lists.  what’s really in a list?  children write things, even crazy people write things.  adults write things.  but not like politicians and our business persons.

 

they are extremely criminal these stupid, list-obsessed freaks.  but as they say, you have nowhere to go if you engage in a life of crime. you have to pay.

 

so these stupid politicians and the business persons pay. and pay.  and pay.  and pay.  and pay.  and how about the lowly taxpayers?  we might as well as have  been criminals.  we pay after the politicians.  when they have handed out their cash, encashed more of their checks at the banks, gave away authorized withdrawal slips, borrowed immensely from this and that loan shark, or that small surnamed shit, all pretending to be their supporters, we the taxed ones are left holding the bill.

 

i’d really like for us to shoot a large number of them one of these days and savor that smile on our faces.  maybe then, we’d be nursing a really big orgasm, who knows?  have you ever had a really big, heavenly orgasm lately?  well, if not, call me at my number!

 

tell me, what kind of politician pays his or her bill really honestly?  they can’t even pay their debts in banks.  look at joe perez also known as joe d v, his behest loan at pnb has never been fully paid back!

 

soon, he’ll be selling the country lists together with his new partners in the camp of mr. joe marcelo ejercito also known as erap — lists of provinces and vote tallies that were supposedly stolen by gloria arroyo when she cheated in the canvassing at congress!  OMG!!!

 

how many politicians religiously file their income tax returns?  they’re no better than the business persons who make the b.i.r. employees and customs officials and fucktotums happy!

 

moany villar, he hasn’t really solved the problem of how to return — at first a loan of 2.5 billion pesos that grew to 7 billion then 9 billion!  por dios por santo!  where is he putting all that moany?  the fucking shit villar is all over the telly and he’s saying he spending for filipino overseas workers who can’t go home!  susmaryosep and we are paying for his enormous debts!!!  sinverguenza!!!

 

i truly hope that sad-looking congressman from mindanao that the presidential tots turned into an audio loudspeaker and broadcaster, will also not jump head on into behest loans too!

 

 

 

look at piatco and the naia terminal 3.  they said to german company (determined by governments to be a corrupt and criminal entity in europe, latin america and other countries) give a budget of 360 or something million dollars.

 

german gagos gave away the 300 plus millions in us dollars. then piatco built the airport with takenaka corp. under a turn-key scheme (if you’re as stupid, it means the contractor — who is japanese in this case — will build everything from scratch and collect the payment later; when they turn over the keys to the airport, they collect their fees.  there, got it?)

 

takenaka indeed built the airport.  a group from indonesia wanted takenaka to build the hypermall-international airport in jakarta, i think, a little later.  but takenaka said they won’t do the project.  the initial negotiations took place in r.p. at the shang hotel in makati.  they probably had their hands full or were entirely stupid.  piatco screwed the japanese takenaka corp.

 

the supposed 300 plus millions — was it ever paid to takenaka?  i think not.  takenaka still had the keys to the airport long, long after the piatco kept telling the world that the total cost of the naia terminal 3 was more than 600 millions!  susmaryosep!!!  suddenly, a number of very large houses kept turning up in the neighborhood of the la presidenta at la vista quezon city!!! so the piatco little dwarfs were now in the vicinity of the power and they keep thinking, if they don’t die from the might of the people who wanted to kill them for collecting advances in commissions that were 400 to 1000 per cent of the contract costs of the smaller subcontractors who were never paid back the actual contract fees after completing small civil works or other jobs.

 

then piatco kept paying this and that politician. this and that policeman about to become the chief of the police in the country.  or this and that agent who is about to become the chief of nbi. for fucking what?  for trying to forget they’ll be arrested for crimes they committed?  and large scale estafa?  or what other gumforsaken crimes?

 

what is this obsession with lists?

 

politicians and business persons (don’t forget, a lot of people in other places engaged in supposed business also refer to themselves as business persons — like a lot of policemen and their civilian collectors, gambling lords, drug lords, bank robbers, kidnappers, call boys, call girls, prostitutes, g.r.o.s and our list goes on and on endlessly. someone called gomolon who robbed rcbc cabuyao and killed the people inside made lists of his girl friends who he wanted to turn into tipsters inside banks.  one of these was olga gonzales, one of the victims at rcbc. she was his long time girlfriend from another life until she became a teller at rcbc.  gomolon and his companions killed her still.  you bet if gomolon and the bank robbers cried?  they didn’t!  they’re like politicians and business persons engaged in illegal acts!!!  they all should hang!!!  carajo!!!)

 

but our main interest are the politicians, they are classic list makers.

 

they list voters.  for the 2010 elections, that is right on the next block, they’ll certainly be feverishly drawing up a huge number of lists once more or culling lists from lists they made from other elections held before.

 

why do they list voters?  perchance to know whom to pay and whom not to pay.

 

they get their lists from people like michael angelo zuce and before, it used to be zuce and his mother, who looked like a lovey-dovey couple, inseparable, never to be seen without the other.  as if zuce and his mom were an incestuous pair when you chance upon them always whispering things to one another!  OMG!  what a pair of stupid money munching freaks!

 

of course there’s the classic roque or something, the collector of tita cory in the numbers game called jueteng.  he would have made the perfect politician!  tita cory’s bro was his handler.  then chavit singson.  jueteng master and politician, all in one.  list maker non pareil!

 

lakas nucd umdp now lakas cmd operators ed veloso, bong serrano, rey maclang, gabby claudio, made long, long lists!  then the money flows to the owners of the names in those lists.  wow!  just like that!  and suddenly maclang and claudio had an instant big building in makati, houses in corinthian village where they’ll get buried and die during an earthquake, but surely, making lists is  truly a profitable profession!!!  caramba!!!

 

vir garci.  he makes impeccably wonderful lists!  jun simon, he also made wonderful, beautiful lists, specially for cory!  a large army of list makers, list robbers and thieves, list burglars exist at comelec, other listing agencies.  (of course, nowadays they call themselves data base experts or registry or library science specialists or whatever kind of quaint, shit name!)

 

but the truth behind all these is that, these fucks will do everything, kill, maim, bomb, bite your ears off, wring arms, wring feet, pull your testicles, cut your penis, ram your vaginas, do other criminal things, just to get their beloved lists!  OMG!!!

scrooge always kept making lists

 

 

there were times when scrooge actually made drawings of his lists

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

erap always made dozens and dozens of lists himself.  but I never really heard anyone actually say erap wasn’t stupid for doing so.  or that he was cured.  as far as I know, he’s always been fucked up in the head.  that’s why he keeps making lists day in and day out.

 

roni puno and vic sumulong, they ran away with ramon mitra’s lists!  jesus!!!  mitra so love his lists (old marcos people engaged in special operations in elections peppered that list) that when he noticed they were missing, he clutched his heart, stepped on the brake, and stopped living.  so now he’s called the late mitra. (he died, not got late, stupid!) 

 

so its the 2010 elections once more.

 

a lot of entrepreneurial politicians and crazies, will be making lists.  a number of the ones that are able to fool the stupid fucks successfully will get rich very very quick.

 

and like i said, since we are always the bamboozled lot, and we never get to kill the list makers, list sellers, list defrauders, list thieves, list burglars, list criminals. . . .

 

in the end, it is us who are left holding the bill for the payment of these expensive pieces of paper or discs loaded by the lists of these stupid fucks!

 

OMG!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

The President, The Ecology and the Phenomenal Fitness Sensation

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Spa in Stormy Weather

 

 

[Note:  This is purely girl talk.  But men are welcome to share at the risk of dying of boredom.]

 

I am an ecology lover.  Uhhhmmmm…  I sort of wrote a little verse about it, if you’ll bear with me:

 

it’s nice to be gently whipped by wind or caressed by light, cool breeze, pricked by small droplets of feeble rain or shower, or snow (not hail, sleet and freezing rain!  hey!!!  awe-full!!!)

in another place and time, during stormy weather you would not be working;

you will be listening to the patter of the rain

you will be hearing the wind blowing

on balmy days like these the operative word is relax, or relaxation, or serenity (not the Summer Glau movie dumb, dumb!)

 

no matter what the envious political critics, opposition parties, support groups say about the lady, I admire President GMA because of this presidential sweat room that she has.  it’s constructed of wood material, perchance on top of concrete, it has a table and stands — one of which is small, outfitted for someone of her size.  everytime she emerges from that room, they say that she feels really oh-so  healthy!  well, good for her!

 

the sweat room is large.  very large.  it accommodates a large number of friends, associates, commoner-audience, local and foreign distinguished guests from the diplomatic circle, including maids, waiters, even chauffeurs, radio and print as well as tv reporters, naked to the bones except for their ticklers and cameras, wires, mikes and cables.

 

what is done in there you can already cull from the name of the room.  Technically, the nomenclature suggests and explains itself as a place where one will whip a huge sweat and shed off fat, flush out body toxins, wastes and puts one in a kind of spiritual communion with … oh that’s something I don’t want to talk about right now, really.  but this sweat storm session has its very special, special rituals, for your information.  of course it is de rigueur before every one enters this sweat room, or any other sweat room for that matter, is that she or he must disrobe (get naked, stupid!),  place a lavacara on the evil part (your penis or boobs and vagina, stupid!) and have a little shower first where you must cleanse yourself of all evilness.  the sweat storm only officially starts when the sweat storm instructor raises a hammer and pounds a small wooden block with it.

 

Someone once wrote an article:

 

presidential sweat storm – it is good for the lady chief executive to be very interested in joining the latest craze — the sweat storm.  What a phenomenal fitness sensation it is!!!  it means that the lady president is really, really concerned about her health, and if she’s had too much to drink or too much coffee sometimes, at least she’ll be able to excrete all that!  [note:  excrete -- that's a truly obscene term, OMG! -- me]

 

however, and here’s the rub, foreign health experts say that not everyone can engage in this fad, sweat storm because as they say, it’s physical training brought to the extremes!  [note:  extreme, as in XXX sports? OMG! -- me]

 

but for those that are in the peak of health, sweat storm is not bad.  anyone, but anyone, who is a believer in good health would really recommend it immediately to you, “Hey man, try sweat storm!”  [note:  that's getting to be bad, isn't it? -- me]

 

and so GMA has this public presidential sweat room, I learned about it when my friend shared the news with me. she (GMA) shares it generously of course.  and although she might visit it even only once a year, everyone wants to see her sweat a storm!

 

all congressmen willingly or unwillingly go there.  senators.  diplomats!  (I did not know that well-dressed and poker faced functionaries like them would shed their clothes in a public manner?)

 

she tells everyone of the statistics, how much weight loss she achieved, or how much weight gain she has to struggle against.  of course, she tells everyone about her weight reduction and health enhancement programs.

 

she even tells the audience how she can use the sweat storm concept and the sweat room to raise money for the country and that her sweat storm sessions are really focused on the poor.  [note:  well, how is that possible, hmmm? -- me]

 

but the wickedly prude ones will boycott GMA’s sweat storm session in the presidential sweat room.

 

they’ll walk out of the sweat storm session and the media goes with them, taking videos of the evil words they say about good physical training.  [note:  how daft!!! -- me]

 

others applaud the sweat storm, clapping and standing, standing and clapping, making catcalls, all in their birthday suits with little towels draped over their overheated penises and vaginas.  [note:  what a sight that must be!!! -- me]

 

I’d like to have a sweat storm session one time, on my own.  It’s hard to stand or sit beside a thousand people, while sweating out like a pig and having nothing on except a lavacara, don’t you think?  it’s a good recreation to enjoy if your visitor is outside instead, like typhoon Frank, Typhoon Helen, Typhoon Kalmaegi, and Norah Jones is crooning to you from your speakers.  its similar to being back in turkey where they have this wonderful turkish bath.  you’re not alone but all you are allowed to be naked with at least are friends and one masseur.  and it’s a male one. huh!  liiikke!  it doesn’t a nilly compare with the korean bath where you’re naked with complete strangers.  ugggghh!!!

 

but I do admire the president’s courage, standing up in her birthday suit with just a couple of little tiny towels, soaked up in sweat, with a thousand or more people, lovers and enemies both.  I can never do a thing like that.

 

so I guess, our little health and extreme fitness topic is just about exhausted for the day, is it not?

 

ummm,  presidential sauna, anyone?  come one, come all, attire:  birthday day suit — bring lavacaras.  RSVP:  Batasan hotline 9315001 local 7616 or 9320535 (Fux)

 

 

 

(Music Playing:  Don’t Know Why by Norah Jones)

 

 

 

 

 

The sin of Mar Roxas’ Secretary

 

 

 

The Little Secretary and the Language Police

 

 

It was a fastidious cloak and dagger operation.  Forty seven Language Police operatives milling about, in complete disguise attires, all wearing sci-fi like contraptions on their eyes, ears, mouths, noses and possibly on every other orifice in their torsos.

 

For 400 days, this little girlie-looking lady, changing dresses to trousers, to denim worker’s overalls, to baby’s shirts, to tank top, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera dropped by ____ Café and I won’t supply the location of the branch, for personal reasons.  The little lady in question, is a daughter of the friend of a friend of a friend of a classmate of my mom.

 

In the custom-built computer of the cloak and dagger operatives from the government, the lady has spoken to at least 57,931 people.  Only one percentum according to the Language and Emotional Quotient Readouts are certified to be personally known to the little lady.

 

To make our story short (after all this is a short story, I am afraid I’ll bore you to death), little lady was arrested at about midnight of July 14, 2029 with these words:

 

You are under arrest by the Language Police.  You have the right to remain silent, blah blah blah, blah.  If you exercise your right to remain silent, blah blah blah, blah . . .

 

At the Language Police Headquarters, little lady was led into a sparse room surrounded by walls made of mirrors, presumably the interrogation room.  She was shown a transcript by only one person with her inside, the investigator.  The transcript read:

 

Ay alam mo ba na ang nagpataas ng presyo ng langis ay si mike arroyo?  Si Gloria? Payaaag!!! Naku, mayaman yan di ba alam ninyo na may bahay siya sa U.S.?  Aba nagpapatayo na naman ang bruha ng bahay sa Portugal Galaxy!!!  Ang daming pera na kinuha nila sa planetang impsa !  Sa planetang china!  Sa iba’t iba pang planeta!  Sa Sun!  Sa moon!  Sa iba-ibang galaxy at Orion at iba-iba pang constellation!!!  Huuuuuph!!! (inhaling deeply)  At yung opening ng Inter Galactic NADAYA Terminal III sino ang kausap ni mike arroyo?  si luhso  tan!!!  magkano?  At yung North HyperSpace Rail?  Aba!!! Aba!!! Abaaa!!!

 

Nakuuu!!!  Put__ina talaga yan!!!  Lagot siya sa boss ko!!!  Alam niyo ba kung sino ang boss ko?  Si Inter Galactic Senadora Mara Rojas!  At si Senadora Fina Lakson!  Patay sila, sabi ni mam Mara!  At mam Fina!   Narinig ko pinag uusapan nila yaan!!!  Maniwala ka!!!!  Hsssssp!!! (inhaling from asthma nebulizer)

 

The Language Police investigator asked little lady if she actually said those things.  And little lady replied in the affirmative.  The Language Police man inquired if she said it 57,931 times.  To which little lady said, she could not remember.  Hsssssssp!!!  (sucked on nebulizer)

 

Then Language Police asked where she got her information.  Little lady said, it is the same thing talked about over and over again by her shemale boss, friends, family and other fellow staff in the Inter Galactic Senate Office.

 

Language Police investigator said that she was in violation of the use of language.  She cannot talk about bad words like langis, Portugal, impsa, china, mike arroyo, gloria arroyo, joseph estrada, eddie ramos, de venecia, and in fact he, the investigator himself was in danger in merely reminding her of this.  Most of all she cannot invoke the supreme act of “erase”.  From the look in his eyes, they seemed to be telling her this message:  Erase — This is a duty only given to GOD and no one else, specially not some little turd who was in the employ of homosexual legislators!  (Some things are rather better left unsaid little lady thought but this whacko does not believe in the Inter Galactic Supreme Brain called The Thule Ball!!!   Hsssssp!!!!)

 

Language Police man, who looked to little lady to be rather kind and fatherly, said, it was way past midnight, little lady has to rest.  Anyway, her shemale boss might provide her a lawyer, and place bail for her liberty.

 

Little lady then thanked Language Police investigator man and was escorted to modest sleeping quarters at the 570th basement floor of the Language Police Headquarters.  Hssssssp!!!!

 

In the following morning, little lady awoke to a different environment.  She was no longer in the sleeping quarters.  She heard a recorded message that she had been temporarily consigned to PEJUK planet — also called the Pre-Extra Judicial Killing planetary detention center.

 

Little lady wondered about the declaration of Language Police investigator man that she will be bailed by her shemale boss and assisted by an advocate.  Why was she brought to PEJUK?

 

When she looked at her wrist, there was a number, 1,748.  That was her ID and member number in the movement to erase mike arroyo and gloria arroyo from the modern day dictionary.  It was the highest form of rebellion and destabilization.  And she initially felt she was the proudest girl in the Universe after she took her Oath of Office.  She remembered that there were around 2000 of them that were working for shemale boss and other senators, congress members, governors, mayors, etc. of the Inter Galactic Thirteen-Branch Government.  Little lady sighed, saying, “It’s not my lucky day!”

 

The story ends here, I think you know why.  You don’t really want me to be EJUKKED?

 

Uh, short story right?  So keep it short, stupid!!!

 

 

Beijing Olympics Here We Cooooome!!! But who really cares about RP Sports, RP athletes?

 

 

Very Bad Sports Practices

and Why We Do Not Win in

the Asean, Asian, Olympic Games

 

 

 

 

 

Sports feats and achievements represent a country’s pride, honor and prestige in the community of nations.

 

The overriding desire, determination of certain quarters however, created a situation in the Philippines where undeserving players get to become Olympic-material athletes.

 

The spirit of competition goes down the drain.  Games and results of competitions are rigged and a hugely profitable enterprise thrives in the local amateur sports community.

 

In the 70s, the turnover involved only several thousands, rising to a hundred, then several hundreds of thousands.  Now the figure is in the six-digit to seven-digit category.

 

In the classic example of De La Salle University (DLSU) for instance, just to produce a champion team, DLSU had to field impostors to play for their university basketball team.  Not too fortunate, DLSU got a severe reprieve and a suspension for engaging in the practice.

 

But how many schools actually employ the same dirty tactic and strategy just to win in competitions?

 

A lot of schools, but there are no exposés being made since a large number of persons protecting this kind of anomaly make it possible for the secret to be buried deep.  Noone, but absolutely no one, could actually document this kind of corrupt practice schools engage in except those that are directly involved in it.  Which makes the task of exposing much, more difficult.

 

When you apply as an athlete to join the Philippine Olympic Team, or if you are a croccy VIP, you check any of the following:

 

 

 

Year : [        ] Games : [    ] CNL [   ] BST [    ] NCR [    ] Visayas [    ] Mindanao [    ] National

 

(Include LGU/NSA name to be represented)

 

Type of Application :

 

[ ] LGU Province/City : ____________________________________________________

 

[ ] NSA NSA name : ___________________ Province/City : _______________

 

A  Governor/Vice Governor, Mayor/Vice Mayor, Provincial Board members of Host LGU, POC and PSC Board

B  Members, POF Exec. Committee, Top Officials of Host LGU, NSA Presidents and Secretary Generals

C  Other POF Officials, Committee chairs of the Host LGU, Tournament Directors, Provincial Sports Coordinators

D  Technical Officials, Jury, Umpires, Referees, Judges

E  Media

F  Athletes

Fo  Coaches, Team Managers, Other NSA Officials, Other Team Officials and Support Staff

Fx   Extra Provincial Officials, Assistant Team Managers

G   Sponsors , Other VIPs , Guests and Observers

H   OTHERS, pls. specify

 

In truth there is no proper representation of an LGU.  Why?  With the exception of the drafted athletes of the various military or police, etc. services, schools are usually the sources of our athletes.

 

In the Palarong Pambansa and other school-based sports events, highest bidding is the basic rule.  The higher the bid of the school, the more players from that school running away with the medals.

 

One of the Department of Education, DepEd syndicates (oh, there are several of them), is deeply engaged in the control of the Palarong Pambansa until the department divested itself of its responsibility for culture and sports.  Supposedly this will stop the corruption.  It did not.

 

The country’s athlete selection and vetting process produces players that do not deserve to win in competitions, except for record-breaking discoveries.  These are pure talents.  But the run-of-the-mill are undeserving shits that do not have an iota of a right to represent the country.

 

This then justifies the fact that sports does not have a good trickle down policy in the allocation of funds.

 

Who in their right minds will share money collected from government allocations and private sponsors if the players are not deserving anyway?  Tama nga naman ang logic ng mga idiot na sports authorities.

 

So for the few real athletes that we have, the bulk of those that will represent and have represented the country are pathetically undeserving and do not have the right to wear the flag on their uniforms.

 

This is repeated on the higher level.  It seems our DepEd and now supposedly off-DepEd syndicate controlling sports have their counterparts in the international level.

 

The wins and inevitably, the medals of selected countries for instance are fraudulently obtained.  This could be due to the fact that our local syndicates’ modus operandi can also be patterned in other countries.  Ergo, if these foreign athletes do not have the wherewithal to win, at least their patriotic national leaders will do their best to rig the results so their nations will undeservedly reap some or worse, most of the, medals.

 

Corrupt individuals and entire syndicates will perpetuate this practice for a long time to come.  Unless the government takes direct, radical action vs. those engaged in anomalies in the sports sector, we will continue to be producing more fake than real athletes in the coming future.

 

It is therefore fitting that a comprehensive reform program be launched to weed the various department, agencies, bureaus, offices of the syndicate that controls the fielding of our athletes.  Simultaneous with this, is the staging of more and more reliable and honest-to-goodness athlete-selection activities and schools are prohibited from engaging in and giving recruitment pitches to the authorities that handle sports in the country.

 

We have to have real athletes, determined and resolute athletes that can brave the competitions and have the talent to win and bring the gold for the country.  Or at least silver or bronze.

 

Let’s have real athletes, the country needs them now more than ever!!!

 

 

 

Events in focus; really, it’s all in the Sex…

 

 

 

 

 

 

United States

 

 

John (McCain): Hey Glor, is it true that Cex Drilon kidnapped an Eybu Sey Yuph [Yuph Yuph] – McCain always coughs like that – in Sulu?

 

Glor (Arroyo): Senator, it is true!

 

George (Bush): Oh no! John, Glory, you have your information backwards!

 

John and Glor: Really? Why?

 

George:  Cex and Ball derm (Angelo Valderama), Inca (Jimmyfred Encarnacion) and Professor Napkyn (Octavio Dinampo), and several others were carrying many hundred thousand dollars in the bag of Cex for her much needed vacation.  They went to a hotel and hopped in bars in Sulu then went to a gay bar.  They saw several male prostitutes, Cex paid for all the male hostesses and they all went to a little forest house.  They had all the sex they wanted, including tying up the male hostesses to trees, tying their penis to the bushes, rocks and stones in the rivers, and all of it under the blessedness of nature.  Close to the christian and muslim god, I might say!  I envy them!

 

John and Glor:  Is that so?

 

George:  Oh, it’s true!

 

John and Glor:  How can you be so sure, Georgy, hmmmm…. ?!?

 

George:  Well, one of the prostitutes is my director at Central Intelligence Agency doing undercover work in Sulu, but he can’t do his job well without his fetishes so he hangs out in gay bars and pretends to be a male hostess.  That’s his official cover for now!  His name is Harlan Shiharune Carpenteures.

 

John and Glor:   So what happened?

 

George:  I think he is in a hospital….

 

John and Glor:  My Gooooood!!!  What happened?

 

George:  His penis was missing…  found in the bag of money.  His testicalleys are gone…

 

John and Glor:  My Gooooood Cezxwghtjqklvsufiabcnm!!!

 

Ewwww!!!

 

George:  I think I’m getting horny…

John and Glor:  Me too!!!!!

 

Barack (Obama):  HEY GUYS!!!  (rapidly undressing, looking horny as a rabbit)  I’d like to COME too!!!

 

George, John and Glor:  LETS!!!

 

(Music playing:  Avril Lavigne’s Happy Ending)

 

Philippines

 

 

Ayala Alabang and

Polk Street, San Juan

 

 

The Malaysian opposition leader Anwar Ibrahim met but did not have sex with former Pres. Fidel Ramos.  The ousted mustachioed bad president Jose Marcelo Ejercito conducting business in the style of Joseph Estrada or alias Erap Estrada. Together in Estrada-hosted dinner, Anwar also sat and talked with former housewife / widow in Malacañang Mrs. Cory Aquino.  Since Erap is sooo hot and Cory is sooo much much hotter, all three of them made love, but no one ever confirmed that… at least not to me, yet.

 

When Anwar went home to Malaysia, the first thing he did was scan all the tv channels and buy all the malay and foreign broadsheet newspapers, magazines, comics, tabloids, girlie and gay publications, all the lot!  Fortunately, there is no recorded event about some sexy goings on that took place at Polk Street, San Juan City, Philippines but none especially at Ayala, Alabang.  Anwar gushed and said, Thank Al’lah! for that.

 

Indeed.  But everywhere it was crawling with news that Cory was utterly sick in her behind…  Oy!  Ikaw Anwar … Oy, ikaw Erap ha!  Hmmmm… bad boys!!!

 

Whatever they chummed about, only the birds and the bees know.  For now.  I’ll tell you about them later.  Perhaps we’ll know more about the behind stories… I mean, the behind the scenes.  Oy, ikaw din ha… hmmmm….

 

(Music playing:  Damn D Love Me by NFL Boyz)

Manila

 

Reynato Puno, the Chief Justice of the Supreme Court and Mayor Alfredo Lim were together holding hands at the City Jail.  They were watching inmates of the jail being adjudicated by a judge in a makeshift sala made out of an 8-million peso worth converted bus.

 

When the inmates and the judge and the staff went out, the bus suddenly became dark and there were two shadows inside the bus that appeared to be making love at 10 in the morning and 3 in the afternoon.

 

That’s meryenda in the Philippines.

 

(Music playing:  Love Hungry Man by AC/DC)

Manila Hotel

Vice President Teofisto Guingona launched his book, Fight for the Filipino recently, July 4, 2008 in Manila out into outer space and inner core of the earth.  A large number of high profiles with horns and tails attended the gathering.  No angels were there, because security was so tight, all the angels, archangels, cherubim, seraphim, etc. were detected and barred from entering the Hotel’s main door.  Chief Justice Reynato Puno was there.  Former Pres. Ramos was there.  Ouster prexy Jose Marcelo Ejercito was there.  Medias were there too.  Kit Tatad, I am told was there showing his new black umbrella like a Bumbay to everyone.  (According to my mom, Kit is a self-created, self-imagined, frustrated Briton [British subject of Her Majesty The Queen].  He speaks with a Londoner’s [not Scottish, never Irish, mind you], accent and he worships the Lord of the Opus Dei.  Know him / her?)

 

A nice gathering of horned-tailed Prominents.

 

I wish that Girbaudz was there to document the event with a video!  Hey Gerbs!  why did you absent yourself?

 

The rumor is that when everyone was out, these old horny guys had an orgy with the tinderas, waiters, chamber maids, inside the ball room.  And there were priests and nuns inside to conduct an alternative kind of after-event prayer meeting or some kind of mass while rocking to the orgy themselves.

 

Gaaad!!!

 

(Music Playing:  Praise the Lords by Lords of Acid)

 

Showbiz Manila

 

Richard Gutierrez is dating / petting KC Concepcion.

So what!  Inggit lang kayo, noh!!!

 

Showbiz Manila

 

Jamby Madrigal:  Oy, members of the press, people, I got my mana na!  You can ask Juday here sitting besides me how happy I am!

 

Press People:   How did you manage that ma’m?

 

Juday:  (Below the table, nervously but ecstatically holding on tight to hand of Jamby massaging her between the right and left leg….)  If I were ummmh…  the judge I will used my head…  As for me, ummmmhhh… (his) head is good uuuuummmmmmmmmmhhh… and if it is big!  Uwwwaaaaaahhhhh…!!!!

 

(Music Playing:  Orgasm by DJ Caffeine)

 

* * * * * *

 

happy photos of kidnapped party partying in Mindanao

 

they are oh so happy.  they look it!!!

 

see?  they totally enjoyed their vacation!!!!