Events in focus; really, it’s all in the Sex…

 

 

 

 

 

 

United States

 

 

John (McCain): Hey Glor, is it true that Cex Drilon kidnapped an Eybu Sey Yuph [Yuph Yuph] – McCain always coughs like that – in Sulu?

 

Glor (Arroyo): Senator, it is true!

 

George (Bush): Oh no! John, Glory, you have your information backwards!

 

John and Glor: Really? Why?

 

George:  Cex and Ball derm (Angelo Valderama), Inca (Jimmyfred Encarnacion) and Professor Napkyn (Octavio Dinampo), and several others were carrying many hundred thousand dollars in the bag of Cex for her much needed vacation.  They went to a hotel and hopped in bars in Sulu then went to a gay bar.  They saw several male prostitutes, Cex paid for all the male hostesses and they all went to a little forest house.  They had all the sex they wanted, including tying up the male hostesses to trees, tying their penis to the bushes, rocks and stones in the rivers, and all of it under the blessedness of nature.  Close to the christian and muslim god, I might say!  I envy them!

 

John and Glor:  Is that so?

 

George:  Oh, it’s true!

 

John and Glor:  How can you be so sure, Georgy, hmmmm…. ?!?

 

George:  Well, one of the prostitutes is my director at Central Intelligence Agency doing undercover work in Sulu, but he can’t do his job well without his fetishes so he hangs out in gay bars and pretends to be a male hostess.  That’s his official cover for now!  His name is Harlan Shiharune Carpenteures.

 

John and Glor:   So what happened?

 

George:  I think he is in a hospital….

 

John and Glor:  My Gooooood!!!  What happened?

 

George:  His penis was missing…  found in the bag of money.  His testicalleys are gone…

 

John and Glor:  My Gooooood Cezxwghtjqklvsufiabcnm!!!

 

Ewwww!!!

 

George:  I think I’m getting horny…

John and Glor:  Me too!!!!!

 

Barack (Obama):  HEY GUYS!!!  (rapidly undressing, looking horny as a rabbit)  I’d like to COME too!!!

 

George, John and Glor:  LETS!!!

 

(Music playing:  Avril Lavigne’s Happy Ending)

 

Philippines

 

 

Ayala Alabang and

Polk Street, San Juan

 

 

The Malaysian opposition leader Anwar Ibrahim met but did not have sex with former Pres. Fidel Ramos.  The ousted mustachioed bad president Jose Marcelo Ejercito conducting business in the style of Joseph Estrada or alias Erap Estrada. Together in Estrada-hosted dinner, Anwar also sat and talked with former housewife / widow in Malacañang Mrs. Cory Aquino.  Since Erap is sooo hot and Cory is sooo much much hotter, all three of them made love, but no one ever confirmed that… at least not to me, yet.

 

When Anwar went home to Malaysia, the first thing he did was scan all the tv channels and buy all the malay and foreign broadsheet newspapers, magazines, comics, tabloids, girlie and gay publications, all the lot!  Fortunately, there is no recorded event about some sexy goings on that took place at Polk Street, San Juan City, Philippines but none especially at Ayala, Alabang.  Anwar gushed and said, Thank Al’lah! for that.

 

Indeed.  But everywhere it was crawling with news that Cory was utterly sick in her behind…  Oy!  Ikaw Anwar … Oy, ikaw Erap ha!  Hmmmm… bad boys!!!

 

Whatever they chummed about, only the birds and the bees know.  For now.  I’ll tell you about them later.  Perhaps we’ll know more about the behind stories… I mean, the behind the scenes.  Oy, ikaw din ha… hmmmm….

 

(Music playing:  Damn D Love Me by NFL Boyz)

Manila

 

Reynato Puno, the Chief Justice of the Supreme Court and Mayor Alfredo Lim were together holding hands at the City Jail.  They were watching inmates of the jail being adjudicated by a judge in a makeshift sala made out of an 8-million peso worth converted bus.

 

When the inmates and the judge and the staff went out, the bus suddenly became dark and there were two shadows inside the bus that appeared to be making love at 10 in the morning and 3 in the afternoon.

 

That’s meryenda in the Philippines.

 

(Music playing:  Love Hungry Man by AC/DC)

Manila Hotel

Vice President Teofisto Guingona launched his book, Fight for the Filipino recently, July 4, 2008 in Manila out into outer space and inner core of the earth.  A large number of high profiles with horns and tails attended the gathering.  No angels were there, because security was so tight, all the angels, archangels, cherubim, seraphim, etc. were detected and barred from entering the Hotel’s main door.  Chief Justice Reynato Puno was there.  Former Pres. Ramos was there.  Ouster prexy Jose Marcelo Ejercito was there.  Medias were there too.  Kit Tatad, I am told was there showing his new black umbrella like a Bumbay to everyone.  (According to my mom, Kit is a self-created, self-imagined, frustrated Briton [British subject of Her Majesty The Queen].  He speaks with a Londoner’s [not Scottish, never Irish, mind you], accent and he worships the Lord of the Opus Dei.  Know him / her?)

 

A nice gathering of horned-tailed Prominents.

 

I wish that Girbaudz was there to document the event with a video!  Hey Gerbs!  why did you absent yourself?

 

The rumor is that when everyone was out, these old horny guys had an orgy with the tinderas, waiters, chamber maids, inside the ball room.  And there were priests and nuns inside to conduct an alternative kind of after-event prayer meeting or some kind of mass while rocking to the orgy themselves.

 

Gaaad!!!

 

(Music Playing:  Praise the Lords by Lords of Acid)

 

Showbiz Manila

 

Richard Gutierrez is dating / petting KC Concepcion.

So what!  Inggit lang kayo, noh!!!

 

Showbiz Manila

 

Jamby Madrigal:  Oy, members of the press, people, I got my mana na!  You can ask Juday here sitting besides me how happy I am!

 

Press People:   How did you manage that ma’m?

 

Juday:  (Below the table, nervously but ecstatically holding on tight to hand of Jamby massaging her between the right and left leg….)  If I were ummmh…  the judge I will used my head…  As for me, ummmmhhh… (his) head is good uuuuummmmmmmmmmhhh… and if it is big!  Uwwwaaaaaahhhhh…!!!!

 

(Music Playing:  Orgasm by DJ Caffeine)

 

* * * * * *

 

happy photos of kidnapped party partying in Mindanao

 

they are oh so happy.  they look it!!!

 

see?  they totally enjoyed their vacation!!!!